There are certain unspoken rules when it comes to weddings that should be adhered to even though they are not written in stone. Among these unwritten rules of etiquette are the courtesies of speeches and toasts. If you follow these rules, and pass them on to the other toasters and well wishers, your wedding reception should go as planned and not run too long or too short. It will also reduce the amount of the goofs and surprises that almost always accompanies these types of events.
As a general rule, there are three oral speeches and an unspecified amount of toasts with comments. There is a huge difference between the two. The three main speeches are accompanied by a toast however, they are usually about five minutes in length and are given by the brides doting father, the happy groom, and the jealous best man. The bride’s father should cover some topics that are not listed in any particular order except the first one, which would only be natural. First, the proud pop should thank the guests for attending and supporting their family on this, one of the happiest days of their lives. Note here that he should thank them as a group because thanking two hundred guests in a toast speech would take seven minutes and thirty-two seconds if my stopwatch were working correctly. The doting dad would also welcome his new son-in-law to the family. Hopefully, he would not mention in front of everyone his secret desire to drag him out into the street and kick his tushy all the way to–leave my daughter alone–ville. (Population, every male on the planet)
The frank father should tell a few funny if not slightly embarrassing stories of his little girl when she was a child or perhaps a short timeline of how she has grown into a woman. It is absolutely vital that he include his wife, her mother, in one or two of the sentences so that no one thinks he is ignoring her. Perhaps mentioning how proud he is of the woman his daughter has become and then giving all of the credit for that to her mother would keep him out of the doghouse for the night. The hardest part of his speech should include some intelligent words of worldly wisdom that can carry the young couple through their life as a kind of mantra or code to live by, at least until the end of the week. The father should then toast the couple, tapping on his glass a second time to wake the guests or drag them away from studying, with avid interest, their golf wedding favors and beach wedding favors so they can raise their glasses.
The groom should then give a speech, immediately thanking his new father-in-law for not going over an hour with his speech. Trying not to leer, he should thank him and his mother-in-law for giving him their daughter. And it is customary that he toast the bridesmaids as well, again, trying not to leer. The grooms toast should include a thank you to the guests but also a special shout out to the best man for not succeeding in talking him out of going through with it. At that point, he passes the toast over to the best man and then passes out for a quick and sobering nap.
The best man’s toast is the most important of them all and is probably the most difficult. Anyone who has ever seen a “My best friend is getting married” movie knows that the best man is more than likely so drunk by now that his lips are numb and the odds of anything intelligible coming from them are pretty astronomical. For this reason, he should keep his toast speech short and try to refrain from sloshing his drink all over the bride as he waves it around. He is also obligated to cry and whine in a nostalgic, I’ll miss you man fashion that will be hard for anyone to watch. At the end of this toast, the best man and the groom should stand and hold each other, sobbing uncontrollably. You do not have to follow these guidelines to the letter but it is a pretty close description of speech etiquette at a traditional wedding ceremony.
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